I have been facing a challenging ordeal in my life lately. My office filed charges against me for participating in public auction for sale of unserviceable properties. I bidded and I won. Not because I was member of the Disposal Committee but because I was highest bidder for some lots. It was a very transparent auction and was even witnessed by our Resident Auditor. The bidded materials awarded to were not used by me but for my brother's house which was at the time of the bidding was under construction.

I was aghast when I received the show cause order asking me and my co -accused (my former boss, and now retired ARD) to explain why we should not be charged of Conduct prejudicial to the best interest of the Government and Acts and Violation of par 3i of the RA 3019.( The Anit -Graft Practices Act). I knew someone had tipped the legal service of the activity. For how could they have known the details when it was infact a regional undertaking. The Central Office would have no knowledge of this activity if no one had hinted the higher ups. I later learned the root of all these and it is disheartening to note that we were merely caught in the middle of a power struggle in this office. Although, it would have not been full blown administrative case, if only people had cooperated and sent only the documents being asked by the legal service. I am also disappointed that there are certain people who go overboard their tasks without consulting the proper people.

I am being alleged unfairly on this matter and I do not feel the support of my superiors. I sense that in this office, I am alone in this battle I am facing.

One person, whom I have trusted so well is the culprit of all these.

First, she said it was ok to just put my name in the bid form. Two reasons, one is because it was done before and another, nowhere can be found in the guidelines state that we as members of the PDAC are prohibited in joining the bidding. Though I had apprehensions then, I obliged. Not realizing that I fell prey to a trap.

Second, the same person also sent all documents to the Central Office without first consulting the PDAC. As mere PDAC secretariat head, she should have secured the instructions of the committee whether or not to send all documents regarding the bidding to the Central Office. The legal service merely requested a copy of the Official Receipts of those who purchased. And in doing so, me and my boss was charged administratively.

In my nearly 8 years stint in civil service, I do believe I am not a neophyte in Government transactions. And yes, I admit, it was really a stupid thing to do. But only because I wanted to help my brother and his family. Little did I guess that such activity will be scrutinized by anybody. Much less, be subjected to an administrative liability. I only have my self to blame for listening to these people who apparently do not know what they are talking about. From now on, I should rely on my own instincts and if in doubt I only consult those whom I know are truly experts, not those self proclaimed. Consulting people in this office especially those who claim to be experts can only give me dishonor. I am an Accountant and for that, I maintain myself to be detached from whatever form of dishonesty. I have never thought that it would be in this agency would my name be tainted and dragged into filth. The issue is trivial and I never intended to prejudice the government and in fairness to me, the auction was done in a very transparent manner. The bidding was in order and I know for a fact that I have not and never would I railroad the proceedings.

The proceedings of this case is lengthy and painstaking.

I stand my ground that the government was never prejudiced by my acts. I the bidded the highest and because of that, it was awarded to me. I participated and we were governed by the rules on disposal when we conducted the auction.

I am now being represented by my highschool batchmate and good friend, Atty. Glenda Lim.

I am truly blessed because I know my God has not forsaken me. He allowed this to happen for reasons I am still to uncover. I just let Him govern me in this that I am facing.

The preliminary conference took place last July 3. And Atty. Lim was happy with the proceedings for everything went as she expected it to be. It was agreed upon that oral arguments be waived and instead, my lawyer was to submit a position paper. And they shall only argue on 4 issues.

Two days ago, I received the copy of the position paper from our legal service authored by the lawyer prosecuting this case. And for the first time since this case progressed, I broke down. I never knew it would be this dirty. The prosecutor, instead of dwelling on the merits of her case, assassinated my character. I have never experienced obliteration of my name in the nearly 10 years of my professional life. I had always maintained a vow to protect my name from any form of intrigues for my profession calls me to do so. I have always manifested professionalism in my duty as an Accountant and never have I encountered anybody who can describe me foul words. She had maligned me like I am a hard core corrupt employee of the government, when all I did was bid the highest amount. I belive the government even gained from my bid for I paid a much higher than the asking price. I am apalled by these legal officers for dwelling on this case I call petty, when there are far more corrupt officials in the government on whom they should focus.

My lawyer still has to submit our positin paper and I know that I am being defended by a very good lawyer. And I thank God for friends like her. She is not only my legal counsel, she also had consoled me in my time of anguish. My husband has also been very supportive through all these. I know that only God knows what will happen next and I certainly believe that justice will prevail.

my happy Bryan boy!!!

adorable little one

This is how active my Bryan boy has become! At 21 months, he is more functional than any body his age. Ever eager to explore the things around him and ever so demanding. Never content in what he sees. He has to feel and touch things. Our house has never been in such a disarray since he learned to walk and discover everythin. Its amazing how his eyes lighten up each time he presses a button on the TV turning it off in the middle of your favorite show, or just the peak of an important news. I am in awe at this mystery... how a tiny little baby can turn into such an adorable yet mishceivous creature!

My family... This is a picture of what I have, of what I treasure most.

rainy weekend

We spent our weekend practically eating.

Saturday, July 26th was my nephew JJ's birthday celebration. Although his actual birth date was July 27th, his mom decided to celebrate on a satuday. It was a rare family get together... Especially now that all of us married kids in the family have moved out, its really rare that we get to see each other. The kids were also excited to spend time with their cousins. My Bryan didn't miss the chance to play with his cousins too. But his main concentration was to ride his dad's car. Well, at least the kids enjoyed their short moment together.

July 27th, 2008. Sunday was my good friend's daughter's christening and 1st birthday party. I was actually lazy to attend the celebration but I couldn't forego because I was one of the ninangs! It was fun though because I got to be with one of my closest friend Nika, whom I haven't seen in a long while. Having our own families really precluded us from going out. But, it really is not a big deal for me. I guess I'm done and over with gimmicks! I've had enough gimmicks in my single life to last me a lifetime. Although I do not discount the fact that its also good to have fun once in a while. I could have regretted not having attended this party.

Though the weather did not cooperate, it was an afternoon spent well. My Bryan was so fascinated with the balloons and everything that he can scrutinize. Including the telephone! Hay! Ang kulit!

It was a cold rainy afternoon and the we learned that the storm signal was raised to signal # 1 that morning. But the weather failed to dumpen our spirits! Nika and I just spent the afternoon making up for lost time! Though the the whole afternoon wasn't enough to catch on. I was happy to be with Nika's family, including her ever supportive mother. Sarap ng food at lahat sila sila lang ang nagluto! Being with old friends is really one way of unwinding.Kahit pano nawawala ang stress! The afternoon was quick to come to an end and we had to hurry home lest we would be soaked wet in the strong rain that battered the whole afternoon. Everyone of us was full and we decided to retire for the day early ready for work the next day.

Bewitched!

Yesterday we found out somebody is doing some sort of sorcerry on my husband. No wonder his ailments are not getting better. With all the medicines he took to relieve him of the pain he is experiencing, if it were a normal body ache, it should have gone away weeks ago.
But the pain lingers. Especially at night, when he is supposed to be resting. He even sometimes gets up from bed just to find relief. I pity him because he has not gotten any rest for more than a month now. And yesterday, we learned what was causing it.

This evil deed of another being who can inflict pain on other people is simply obnoxious. My husband doesn't even remember whether he had any arguments or confrontation with anybody who could probably be the suspect of this witchcraft!

It is detestasble how anybody resort to this evil when they can just confront my husband if he had done anybody wrong. I just lift up everything to my God who just. I know that God will put an end to my husband's suffering. And the witch doing this will receive eternal punishment.

There are challenges I face as of the moment. I am one person who confronts challenges head on. I don't take second chances. I win.I conquer