my creations

It has been a while since my last post. My blogging was put aside. But sure I wasn't idle. My hands are full with mostly things that I love doing most.. Aside from my bookkeeping for few clients, which leaves me awake til the wee hours, I am also taking advantage of the holiday season.

And these are just samples of my creations...

They look good but they taste even better... I can't share the recipe though, its trade secret!!!




BRANDIED FRUITCAKE

MY NO BAKE BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE

MY CATHEDRAL WINDOWS(CHRISTMAS GELATINE)

the other side of me

Aside from my busy life as an Accountant, I am also a mother and kitchen freak.
I just love to cook.

I usually stay home on weekends and fix up a meal for my family.
Its my way of making up for not being been able to cook on weekdays.

My helper is quite as skilled in the kitchen. I was able to train her and now she is doing well when it comes to cooking. She now knows her way around the kitchen well.. and I take all the credit for that. Ahemm!!!
She does the cooking on weekdays and on days that I could not be home on time to cook so that my family could eat on time.

However, when I am home, the kitchen is my kingdom. I try as much as possible to cook or bake on days that am off from work.

I find it therapeutical. It relieves me from all the pressure and the stress that I have to deal with at work.

Last Saturday, my baking skills went full swing. I am into baking brandied fruitcakes again. Am thinking selling them just in time for the holidays!

I brought samples at work and they all loved it. Now, I'm down to real business!!!
I realized, that if I weren't and CPA now, I would have been a chef!!!
Although I'm still open for that possibility.
I still dream going to culinary school and experiment on food and all that cooking.
Anyhoodle, that is still a remote possibility especially now that we're trying to conceive another angel.

Until my next baby comes, my culinary skills have to take the back sit.

I witness God's Goodness for I am instrument of His

Every saturday, a lady, who is also my neighbor comes to the house at exactly 8 am to sell me fresh lowland vegetables.

According to her, she is a mother of 6 children, her youngest being only 4years old.
She sells vegetables around the neighborhood in the morning and sells her merchandise by 11am.

She goes home, cooks lunch for her family and rests.
In the afternoon, she cooks some banana q, camoteq or any kind of miryenda, and sells around the neighborhood again.

This is her daily routine.

Amazing how this mother works to feed her family

Her husband, according to her is a laborer and job comes seasonally.

I buy from her to save me from going to the market.
One day she told me that I am always "buena mano " to her on Saturdays.
And claims that I'm a lucky buena mano because she is able to sell all her vegetables on Saturdays.

On other days, she says, sometimes she brings home unsold gulay for her family's meal.

Last saturday, she told me her youngest child is down with typhoid fever.

Being an employee of social welfare, I immediately told her to get a medical certificate from the doctor and asked her to come to my office as soon as she can.

I referred her to the CIU (crisis intervention unit) of my agency so she could avail of financial assistance

True enough, she was able to get some medicinces for free, thanks to the City's help. And some amount of money for her other needs.

She got her check today.
I couldn't describe the happiness on her face when she recieved it.
She said, it was an early Christmas gift.

This touched my heart. She also called me a blessing to her family.
I didn't even realize such. But I give back all the glory to God.
I was also able to refer her to the livelihood unit.

She mentioned one day that she wanted to borrow a certain amount of capital so that she can sell some meat and fish that would go with the vegetables she sell. Which means, extra capital.

Today, before she left our office, she was interviewd by the one in-charge of the livelihood unit. She was given hope that she would be able to borrow the money so she could push through with her plans.

She was so happy. She actually called me an angel.

I told her I was only an instrument to the goodnes of God.

This brought me to a realization that sometimes,the simplest things we do go a long for others.

I was happy I was able to help.

Thank you Father for making me an instrument of your love.

baby fever

My husband and I want a new baby. My first child is now two years old and now we want him to have an "ading".
It is what we planned. After our first child was born, we have decided that another baby would come in two years.
And two years it is.

However, after giving birth to my first child, I developed hypertension.

Now, we are scared of what it could bring to me and the baby if we concieve again.

Last week, I went to see an OB GYNE. Not my previous one because I wanted a second opinion. My former Doctor could not give me clear answers to my questions as to why I am suffering from this ailment.

My internist suspected it could be my OCP.

But last week, I got my answers.
The OCP was not a cause for my hypertension.
I was told that it could be stress or my diet.

She also took away my fear of going through a Caesarian Section if ever.
I was also told that the best way for a hypertesive mom to give birth is through a normal delivery.
Thank God!

I was also advised that the only way to have a safe pregnancy is to comply with all the pre-natal appointments. I learned that the reason that mothers become pre -eclamptic during pregnacy is because they mis their pre-nata check ups.

Now, knowing all this, I think we're ready to concieve another angel!

I pray for God's blessing and to keep all else well for the days to come.

my precious moments

Was it only yesterday when I carried you in my womb?
Was it only yesteday when I brought you int this world?
Was it only yesterday when I held you in my arms, and all you did was coo?
Now you are two!
Who knows what's in store for me and you?
Soon you would grow, soon you would leave!
HOw I wish I could freeze this moment forever and never let you leave my arms!
Never let you out of my sight.
Everything was magic since you came into my life!!
I love you dearly my son Bryan!!!

birthday picnic at john hay

It was a perfect day for Bryan's outdoor birthday party. Lucky enough, the weather permitted this picnic as we've praying all week.
But where's the food??? Oh I was so busy tending to my guests I forgot to take a shot of the picnic table!!!
Anyhoo... It was a blast for Bryan and his John Hay experience...
He got the chance to walk the eco trail, though I wasn't with him. His ate jen and ate sarah and his cousins took him for a long walk. I wasnt able to document it.
Happy second birthday Bryan!! Mommy and Daddy loves you so much!!!

twister car

This is what bryan got for his 2nd bday!
A twister car that he learned to drive and maneuver in no time..
Driver talaga tong anak ko!!!

THE UNSUCCESSFUL HAIRCUT

Tony and I decided that we'd grow Bryan's hair long, just like his dad's hair eons ago. But his bangs grew faster than we knew and started irritating his eyes. So for a few nights we had this rehearsal... But when the day came, this is what transpired. 5 nights of rehearsal but to no avail...

Luckily, his ate (our helper) was more innovative and was able to cut his hair when we were not around..

my son is turning two!!!

Mommy is mighty proud of you, my dear son!

I am amazed at how God has sustained me through this week. My unit has been unmanned since early July this year and I am practically performing double functions. Like wearing two hats for that matter. Despite of it all, I have managed to survive, with little difficulty here and there.

But this week, I can say is the toughest. As I prepare my report for the agency I work with, I also have deadlines to beat with this new client. And so I work my bones hard during my regular work hours, and have to stay up late at night to cope with my new client's demands. And I am not at all mazed. I am still alert during the day where I also have to manage and coach 2 subordinates.

The best part of it? No terrible migraine attacks and no blood pressure surges! So I am able to accomplish a good deal. I am also still able to put my son to sleep at night before I work in the evening. He sleeps late, which means, I can only start working at night when my son sleeps. I pray that this won't take its toll! I know it is God who has given me the strength to do all this, and I return to Him all the Glory.

Amazing really, how God works in my life. I shall not want!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I did! I submitted my report. It took I while before I ever got any feedback from my boss. I still am waiting to see the results and I am hoping it would be in the best interest of everybody.

I truly am blessed! My God is greater than my problems and struggles! There is nothing I shall want.

My case is nearing the end and I still pray that it will be in my favor.

I am anxious about my new project. I feel I can't cope with its demands but I pray that I will be able to. I have a feeling this could be the start of something big and could pave my exit in this office!!

SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT?

I am debating whether to submit this report I have been preparing for at least two weeks now. I don't know whether to submit it or not.

It is a report that contains the inefficiency of one of my subordinates.
She the object of my headaches and hypertension attacks lately.
I have been patiently coaching her in order that she performs well but maybe there is a limit to what she can do.

She is a PWD but her job is mostly analytical and doesn't require mobility. So her not being normal physically should not be a problem. Sana.. pero ndi e. Pati mental capacity slow din...

She is also not a regular employee and could be terminated anytime.

So here ther goes my dilemma. Should I? Or should I not submit this report...

Submitting this report would mean:--
... this subordinate, might lose her job. And if she does, she might blame me for it. she is a married individual in her mid 40s and apparently, she is the sole breadwinner of her household. She may not have kids to feed but she has nieces and nephews whom she looks after and are relying on her for chief support.

Not Submitting this report would mean:
...i would have to endure her slow mental capabilities. and the reports of the agency is jeopardized. I would have to now and then answer for her incorrect, inaccurate reports, thus giving me all sorts of headaches and all sorts answering to do.

Now, which do I choose?
SOS please!!

hypertension

Not exactly a good day today. I woke up with a bad headache. My blood pressure is nowhere within its normal range. I battled getting up to prepare my self to work but couldn't much concentrate on things. Nonetheless, I managed accomplish some tasks. (arrggh!)

I hope this headache goes away right away!
I hate it when I get attacks of severe headache. I'm not really sure what's causing it. I only suspect that my blood pressure surged again.

I keep praying that this ailment would leave my body so I can go back to my normal self. I miss those days when I could stay up all night yet get up early and go to work on time and accomplish my job well. Those days are gone. Or am I getting old? At 31, I must admit I'm not getting any younger and things are not the way they used to be. But hey not that old! My husband is way older than I am but he's more agile and more fit, blood pressure stable and no ailment has conquered his body. Which I am much thankful for. Just a few back and shoulder pains here and there but not major ailments. Which I can readily fix with that tender loving massage. Praise God for his divine health!

Though I know I am not getting any younger but having to battle hypertension is beyond my imagination. I never imagined I would develop this kind of ailment. For one, I do not eat fatty foods. I also do away from those that are too oily and avoid salty junk foods. So what's causing this? I also do not have a family history of hypertension.

My father is as healthy as a cow and has never at any point experienced having a high blood pressure. I still wonder what I've don to acquire such illness. I've had tests to trace whether there are underlying diseases such as diabetes, kidney malfunction or hyperthyroidism. All of which showed negative results. In a way, I am thankful about it though. At least, I only have to deal with one.

But I'm getting tired of having to suffer severe shoulder, and neck pains and severe headaches.

I continue to pray for my complete healing.

FRIEND OR FOE?

I saw an old friend today as I went to SM to purchase milk for my Bryan. I did not know whether to approach her or not because for sure, I wouldn't know what to tell her. Our last conversation more than two years ago was not something you can call pleasant. And she owed me some bucks of which I was also reminded.

I don't know whether a friend would be the right term to describe my present relationship with her. As I look back, I recall her as a "barkada" who was fond of going out on gimmiks here and there whether she had money or not.

Our last conversation was actually something about me asking her to pay me back the money she owed. And as I recall, she was infuriated by my demands. Which actually surprised me. If my memory served me right, she's the one indebted to me.

And today when I saw her, clad in not so ordinary clothes, I figured, if she could dress that way, maybe she's able to pay her long overdue debt. But I didn't have the courage to confront her! (ano ba yan? ako na nga ang inutangan, ako pa ang nahiyang lumapit!)

I know that my God is just. And I leave it all up to Him.

After all, He will be the judge on the last day.

LIFE'S PURPOSE

Some things to think about...enjoy!!!! and take heart...

Short Interview with Rick Warren, (PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE)
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with
his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth'
from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short
interview with Rick Warren,
'Purpose Driven Life' author and pastor
ofSaddleback Church in California .
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond:
In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity.
We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end
of my body-- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to
spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up
act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth
what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that
out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now,
you're just coming out of one, or you're getting
ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your
character than your comfort.
God is more interested in making your life holy than He is
in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's
not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in
Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but
also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go
through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back
and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that
it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at
all times you have something good and something bad in your> life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always
something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is
always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your
problems.
If you focus on your problems, you're going into
self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my
pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is
to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of
hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal
Kay or make it easy for her.
It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has
strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping
other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him
and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of
life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is
harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when
the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very
wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to
deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or
notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of
ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this
money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different
passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9
and Psalm 72
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not
change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a
salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call
The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the
poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the
24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back.
It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for
possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness?
Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's
purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed
and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I
want to know You more and love You better. God didn't
put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more
interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human> doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
God Bless!
GOD 4ever reigns. God loves you
and will be with you always. Be blessed
with the touch of God's grace, mercy, peace,
joy, and loving kindness.

Thank you Dear God for all the blessings you have bestowed upon us.

I know that from you comes all that I have and without you, I have nothing.

I stand in awe at how you have blessed me and my family.

Thank you Dear God!

To you be the glory and honor for this blessing that has come.

I pray for the strength to do what is expected of me.

I pray that you allow me time to do my duties well.

I pray for the support of my husband so I will be able to accomplish everything that needs to be done.

I thank you Lord God.

To you be all the Glory.

GOD'S WONDEROUS WAYS

God is a generous God! He knows everything that my heart longs for. Only He has plans we have no way of knowing. And His reasons for everythin, only He can understand.

I can see His hand once again working in my life. I know that it is Him who gave me every blessing and every oppurtunity that I have had.

I see Him now answering my prayers.

I hope all goes well.

Thank you, Dear God!!

OF CHURCHES AND DESSERTS

My weekend was indeed a fruitful one. Infact, it had a lot to do with cathedrals! One I might say is food for the soul and another one I call food for the Gods! (Literally speaking). I had time to make these delectable, mouthwatering gelatin, cathedral windows style! And it was great! Everyone loved it. I am adding this to my becoming long list of creations.

I usually spend my weekends at home cooking or preparing something for my family. Sadly, I didnt think of documenting them. But now, I must say, its time I show off! It's actually a start for what am planing to do. Which I hope would materialize!

I am also planning to turn this hobby into an income generating project. And since the holiday season is just around the corner, I figured these cathedral windows thing is just about a perfect start!!! I am really getting excited. Next thing you might see in this blog might be pricing!! Don't hesitate to ask me because am really realy into it! I just need a capital to start with and I'm off to a busy holiday season preparing holiday treats!!! Wish me luck!!

Speaking of Cathedrals, I was also happy to spend Sunday with God, who has been so generous with His blessing to me and my family. We went to the St Joseph Parish Church, and it reminded me much of what I had been busy about the night before, cathedral windows!

Not much of a comparison though! But really, both have something in common. One to fill you spiritually, and the other, to fill you physically!

A fruitful Sunday, indeed!

Expect more from my creations in the next blogs!!!

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!!!

unfair deal

I don't know how much longer I can stand this place!
There are people who get away with their anomalous acts.
I mean, they can do whatever they want with government property, get found out, and yet, they get away with it!

Sounds like I'm sour graping, I know but damn! I know, I am innocent with their charges. I know, I didn't break any rules. We had a very transparent activity, and this is what I get!

And yet, here comes these people, who sell government property with out undergoing the necessary procdures, and keep the money and got away with it!

I don't know, leave it be to their consciences! I don't care anymore. All I wanna do now is leave this rotten office! It really sucks!!

Bryan's Saturday afternoon at SM!!

Bryan had a funfilled afternoon last Saturday, Sept. 6, 2006.

After debating whether to tag him along for my business appointment,I finally decided to bring him and take him a walk after my meeting. It was a short and informal anyway so I decided, I take him along to break the montony of his life being only at home all week.

I decided to let him have a stroll at SM.

He was reluctant to walk at first so I had to carry him until he saw the great building of SM.

Thrilled as we approached the mall, he decided to walk towards it.

He was happy to see plenty of people walking by, to and fro. I took him to see the animals at Baguio Pet Habitat, where he was so elated to see labradors, the multi colored fishes in the aquariums and birds in cages.

After that, I took him for that paid ride at Quantum. He was so happy to drive the big puppy and the car.

He wouldn't want to leave so we spent most of the afternoon there. We had to convince him that we had to head home because it was getting dark. After lots of talking and convincing, he gave in. He was so tired after all the running and walking and playing, this is what he looked like when we got home...Exhausted but content!

Hehehe! Iloveyou Bryan! I promise to take you for another ride next time!

I'm mighty proud of you!!!

take and receive

Take and receive, O Lord, my liberty,

Take all my will, my life, my memory,

All things I own, And all I have, are Thine,

Thine is the gift to me, I all resign.

Do thou the rest, and govern all and sway,

Do what Thy will, command,

And I obey,

Only Thy grace,

Thy love on me bestow,

This make me rich,

All else wil I forego

TODDLER CRAZE

These videos were taken almost a year ago(don't mind the audio)just as my son Bryan turned one!

Funny how time flies! Next month, he'll be turning two! No longer a baby!!

He's a toddler. He'll be a pre schooler before we know it!!!

Though I miss his tinyness, I'm proud of what he's become now!

Very vocal and opinionated and he's not even two yet!!

Wait til he reaches pre-school age! I bet we're in for a debate about everything!!

Dear Lord, I thank you for this day.

I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning.

I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God.

You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me.

Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you.

I ask now for Your forgiveness.

Please keep me safe from all danger and harm.

Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.

Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.

Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.

Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over.

Let me continue to see sin through God's eyes and acknowledge it as evil.

And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth my wrongdoing,

and receive the forgiveness of God.

And when this world closes in on me,

let me remember Jesus' example -- to slip away and find a quiet place to pray.

It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.

I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.

Continue to use me to do Your will.

Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others.

Keep me strong that I may help the weak.

Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others.

I pray for those who are lost and can't find their way.

I pray for those who are misjudged and misunderstood.

I pray for those who don't know You intimately.

I pray for those who don't believe.

But I thank you that I believe.

I believe that God changes people and God changes things.

I pray for all my sisters and brothers, for each and every family member in their households.

I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God.

Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.

I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth that confesses them willingly..

This is my prayer.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

rare occasions

it seems really rare nowadays that me and my twin get to spend time together considering we both have families of our own!

But we spend time together with our families every chance we get.

wella!!! yes! yes! yes!

My blog is back to normal!!!! yahooo!!!

i can now upload, photos and videos!!!

August-Family Fiesta

This weekend is an extraordinary weekend for the Llusala's. August is the month where most family members celebrate their birthdays. Me and my twin included.Through the years, it has become a practice that we celebrate all the birthdays in August at the same time. Not only for pratcical reasons, of course, but also to have a sort of a family reunion in the middle of the year (aside from Christmas and New Year)
Eversince me and my siblings decided to settledown and have a family of our own, we seldom get to see each other. Especially my twin who has settled in Manila.
August 23 was the day we picked to celebrate the birtdhays of 6 members of our family.

However short the time, bonding and the laughter was simply a moment to remember!!

(pictures to follow.. d pa rin ako maka pag uploadng pictures!!arrggghhh!!!)

birthday wish

My birthday is in two days.

I only have one wish..

And that is, to find another source of living before the year ends...
I am so eager to start up my own business but as of the moment, I could not
for lack of funds. I hope and pray that our plans do materialize by the end of this year...

waaah!!! anong nangyari sa blog ko??? bakit d ako makapag upload ng pictures????help!!!!

Thank You, Lord for a Sunny Monday

I usually hate Mondays! For one, its the start of the week and I have to wake up early. I usually get hangovers of the previous weekend and I also have to leave my son so I can go to work. I have to explain to him that he has to stay with is ate so I can go to work. And almost all of the time, he would be left screaming crying in protest.

But today is a fairly different Monday. Unlike any other Mondays, today, I woke up early. It was also a sunny day which made it more pleasant. After a weeklong of continous heavy downpour, the sun finally showed up! This might have lifted my spirits. My Bryan also woke up just when I was about to go out the door. And unlike any other day, he just smiled and blew me a kiss, while he still lay sleepy in bed. And said "babay mam!". This might be the reason I left the house quite happy. I didn't have to leave my son heavy hearted on a Monday morning, where I usually run late!! Talk about manic monday!!!

I also arrived at the office a little over 10 minutes before 8:30.For the first time in 3 months, I got in just in time for the flag ceremony and monday program!

Although I see it as a challenging week ahead, I am happy for this fresh start.

Thank you Lord for your countless blessings, and for allowing me to start my week right!

I want to find a new yaya for my baby. I don't know whether I can trust my current house helper anymore. I leave my son to her care almost 10 hours a day from Mondays to Fridays. And I don't really know what happens each time me and my husband aren't home. They are left there all by themselves practically the whole day. As a good employer I have treated her like one of my own. I let her enjoy freely practically everything that we have and own. I have never been selfish with anything, unlike other employers I know, or those I see on Tv who even maltreat their helpers. My helper can eat all she wants, and she could watch TV freely. I mean I should be good to her because she takes care of my son when I'm working. She even had access to my personal computer at home, which I let her use freely. But today, I just learned her to have logged-on to friendster. She couldn't keep that from anyone, i mean, as anybody knows, a prompt on your profile appears showing when you have last logged on. And I saw her log in just within 24 hours. I am worried because I know that my prepaid internet card at home has expired. And where else would she be able to access the internet but at an internet shop. The nearest would be at least 500m away from our house. I now wonder how she could do that when I just texted her asking how my little boy was. She replied that my son was sleeping. I couldn't help but think that she left my son alone at home while she went surfing the internet. And again, without my permission! I know I should confront her when I get home later. But even if she told the truth, I don't think I would let myself believe in her anymore. I have instructed her, time and again, never to leave the house and never to leave my 21 month old son. Whether she should go out of the house, she must still ask permission from me. I really should start looking for her replacement. I couldn't trust her with little things, how could I trust her with big things? Much more, entrust the care of my one and only child to her? This is going to be a big problem if I don't correct it now. I hope I could find someone to replace her soon. I couldn't tolerate it much longer. These maids, even if you treat them as a family member, they still have reasons to complain or bad mouth their "amos" and tend to abuse the kindness of their employers. I shall be sending her home soon. And I'm sure, she couldn't compare me to any employer she would meet in the future. Her loss, not mine.

Once again we left Bryan this morning crying on the top of his lungs... Calling out for his daddy to give him some more time to ride and take charge of the wheel. It has been his morning ritual. Each morning before we leave, he sits on his dads lap as they warm up the car. Yesterday and the day before that, he was not able to do so. It has been raining early in the morning so I don't allow him to go out of the house. We don't have a garage and the car is parked down the road. And this morning, he got lucky. The rain has stopped, but I was running late for work and he was reluctant to be left behind. And as we drove off, I could hear him yelling his lungs out for daddy. Wawa naman my baby. Don't worry Bryan, I will bring you along when I can ha?

I have been facing a challenging ordeal in my life lately. My office filed charges against me for participating in public auction for sale of unserviceable properties. I bidded and I won. Not because I was member of the Disposal Committee but because I was highest bidder for some lots. It was a very transparent auction and was even witnessed by our Resident Auditor. The bidded materials awarded to were not used by me but for my brother's house which was at the time of the bidding was under construction.

I was aghast when I received the show cause order asking me and my co -accused (my former boss, and now retired ARD) to explain why we should not be charged of Conduct prejudicial to the best interest of the Government and Acts and Violation of par 3i of the RA 3019.( The Anit -Graft Practices Act). I knew someone had tipped the legal service of the activity. For how could they have known the details when it was infact a regional undertaking. The Central Office would have no knowledge of this activity if no one had hinted the higher ups. I later learned the root of all these and it is disheartening to note that we were merely caught in the middle of a power struggle in this office. Although, it would have not been full blown administrative case, if only people had cooperated and sent only the documents being asked by the legal service. I am also disappointed that there are certain people who go overboard their tasks without consulting the proper people.

I am being alleged unfairly on this matter and I do not feel the support of my superiors. I sense that in this office, I am alone in this battle I am facing.

One person, whom I have trusted so well is the culprit of all these.

First, she said it was ok to just put my name in the bid form. Two reasons, one is because it was done before and another, nowhere can be found in the guidelines state that we as members of the PDAC are prohibited in joining the bidding. Though I had apprehensions then, I obliged. Not realizing that I fell prey to a trap.

Second, the same person also sent all documents to the Central Office without first consulting the PDAC. As mere PDAC secretariat head, she should have secured the instructions of the committee whether or not to send all documents regarding the bidding to the Central Office. The legal service merely requested a copy of the Official Receipts of those who purchased. And in doing so, me and my boss was charged administratively.

In my nearly 8 years stint in civil service, I do believe I am not a neophyte in Government transactions. And yes, I admit, it was really a stupid thing to do. But only because I wanted to help my brother and his family. Little did I guess that such activity will be scrutinized by anybody. Much less, be subjected to an administrative liability. I only have my self to blame for listening to these people who apparently do not know what they are talking about. From now on, I should rely on my own instincts and if in doubt I only consult those whom I know are truly experts, not those self proclaimed. Consulting people in this office especially those who claim to be experts can only give me dishonor. I am an Accountant and for that, I maintain myself to be detached from whatever form of dishonesty. I have never thought that it would be in this agency would my name be tainted and dragged into filth. The issue is trivial and I never intended to prejudice the government and in fairness to me, the auction was done in a very transparent manner. The bidding was in order and I know for a fact that I have not and never would I railroad the proceedings.

The proceedings of this case is lengthy and painstaking.

I stand my ground that the government was never prejudiced by my acts. I the bidded the highest and because of that, it was awarded to me. I participated and we were governed by the rules on disposal when we conducted the auction.

I am now being represented by my highschool batchmate and good friend, Atty. Glenda Lim.

I am truly blessed because I know my God has not forsaken me. He allowed this to happen for reasons I am still to uncover. I just let Him govern me in this that I am facing.

The preliminary conference took place last July 3. And Atty. Lim was happy with the proceedings for everything went as she expected it to be. It was agreed upon that oral arguments be waived and instead, my lawyer was to submit a position paper. And they shall only argue on 4 issues.

Two days ago, I received the copy of the position paper from our legal service authored by the lawyer prosecuting this case. And for the first time since this case progressed, I broke down. I never knew it would be this dirty. The prosecutor, instead of dwelling on the merits of her case, assassinated my character. I have never experienced obliteration of my name in the nearly 10 years of my professional life. I had always maintained a vow to protect my name from any form of intrigues for my profession calls me to do so. I have always manifested professionalism in my duty as an Accountant and never have I encountered anybody who can describe me foul words. She had maligned me like I am a hard core corrupt employee of the government, when all I did was bid the highest amount. I belive the government even gained from my bid for I paid a much higher than the asking price. I am apalled by these legal officers for dwelling on this case I call petty, when there are far more corrupt officials in the government on whom they should focus.

My lawyer still has to submit our positin paper and I know that I am being defended by a very good lawyer. And I thank God for friends like her. She is not only my legal counsel, she also had consoled me in my time of anguish. My husband has also been very supportive through all these. I know that only God knows what will happen next and I certainly believe that justice will prevail.

my happy Bryan boy!!!

adorable little one

This is how active my Bryan boy has become! At 21 months, he is more functional than any body his age. Ever eager to explore the things around him and ever so demanding. Never content in what he sees. He has to feel and touch things. Our house has never been in such a disarray since he learned to walk and discover everythin. Its amazing how his eyes lighten up each time he presses a button on the TV turning it off in the middle of your favorite show, or just the peak of an important news. I am in awe at this mystery... how a tiny little baby can turn into such an adorable yet mishceivous creature!

My family... This is a picture of what I have, of what I treasure most.

rainy weekend

We spent our weekend practically eating.

Saturday, July 26th was my nephew JJ's birthday celebration. Although his actual birth date was July 27th, his mom decided to celebrate on a satuday. It was a rare family get together... Especially now that all of us married kids in the family have moved out, its really rare that we get to see each other. The kids were also excited to spend time with their cousins. My Bryan didn't miss the chance to play with his cousins too. But his main concentration was to ride his dad's car. Well, at least the kids enjoyed their short moment together.

July 27th, 2008. Sunday was my good friend's daughter's christening and 1st birthday party. I was actually lazy to attend the celebration but I couldn't forego because I was one of the ninangs! It was fun though because I got to be with one of my closest friend Nika, whom I haven't seen in a long while. Having our own families really precluded us from going out. But, it really is not a big deal for me. I guess I'm done and over with gimmicks! I've had enough gimmicks in my single life to last me a lifetime. Although I do not discount the fact that its also good to have fun once in a while. I could have regretted not having attended this party.

Though the weather did not cooperate, it was an afternoon spent well. My Bryan was so fascinated with the balloons and everything that he can scrutinize. Including the telephone! Hay! Ang kulit!

It was a cold rainy afternoon and the we learned that the storm signal was raised to signal # 1 that morning. But the weather failed to dumpen our spirits! Nika and I just spent the afternoon making up for lost time! Though the the whole afternoon wasn't enough to catch on. I was happy to be with Nika's family, including her ever supportive mother. Sarap ng food at lahat sila sila lang ang nagluto! Being with old friends is really one way of unwinding.Kahit pano nawawala ang stress! The afternoon was quick to come to an end and we had to hurry home lest we would be soaked wet in the strong rain that battered the whole afternoon. Everyone of us was full and we decided to retire for the day early ready for work the next day.

Bewitched!

Yesterday we found out somebody is doing some sort of sorcerry on my husband. No wonder his ailments are not getting better. With all the medicines he took to relieve him of the pain he is experiencing, if it were a normal body ache, it should have gone away weeks ago.
But the pain lingers. Especially at night, when he is supposed to be resting. He even sometimes gets up from bed just to find relief. I pity him because he has not gotten any rest for more than a month now. And yesterday, we learned what was causing it.

This evil deed of another being who can inflict pain on other people is simply obnoxious. My husband doesn't even remember whether he had any arguments or confrontation with anybody who could probably be the suspect of this witchcraft!

It is detestasble how anybody resort to this evil when they can just confront my husband if he had done anybody wrong. I just lift up everything to my God who just. I know that God will put an end to my husband's suffering. And the witch doing this will receive eternal punishment.

There are challenges I face as of the moment. I am one person who confronts challenges head on. I don't take second chances. I win.I conquer

no rest for the weary

News on the ill-fated MV Princess of the Stars flood the news everyday since typhoon frank hit the Philippines on June 20, 2008.

For a fact, the bereaved have not had rested their weary minds until they have confirmed whether or not their loved ones have been found.

The possibility of a survivor being found diminishes each day. And each day, the possibility of the marine hazard endosulfan contaminating the waters of sibuyan islands increases.

And what has been the indemnification for these damage to life, property and environment of the Sulpicio lines? A mere P200,000.00 for each dead passenger! Is that how cheap life is in the Philippines?

In other countries, the indemnification for each casualty similar to that of the MV Princess of the stars is $50,000.00 or close to P2.8M converted. Legislators even claim that a $50,000.00 is not even enough to indemnify the life claimed in an accident. A proposal that indemnification shall be raised to $P129,000 or close to P6M for each casualty.

So how come you only get to be paid P200,000.00 for a loss of life in the Philippines? When clearly, there is neglect of duty of those involved. Whether the PAG-ASA or the ship owners.
And how could the weary rest their minds when they have to wait for another painstaking three months or more for them to be able to claim their dead? And howcome, this Sulpicio lines still have not lost its license to operate when it has been involved in quite a number of mishaps in the past? And more and more lives are lost!

Clearly, the government has to exert more efforts to settle this issues.Until then, the weary can never rest their minds. Or even, think twice before taking a ferry ride.

i got this from my friend's posts

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
"How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was
a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your
husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that
it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO
anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's
happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the
imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened

TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome
(when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being
cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or
even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry
the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria
of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse
for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this
dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the
same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make"
it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of
love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly,
it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage
work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and
exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ..
you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . not just a feeling.
-o-

*for those people having problems with their marriage, this will give you a new sense of direction.
for those who aren't married yet but plan to marry soon, this maybe helpful to you just as much it is to those who are already in it. Learn it. Love it!
*and lastly, to answer the question above, i would say that it is actually up to us to make that person we married the right one. It’s our Decision!

happiest and proudest mommy in the world!!!c",)

Its almost the end of the first semester.. it means half of the year is done... it means, i only have half of the year to push through with my plans.

I feel the pressure. I almost want to just dive into my new project. I only have 6 months to turn it into reality. Will it materialize? I haven't even started to work on it. I hope I can cope. I have been contemplating it for six months now. And within six months, I should find myself out of this lousy job. Its actually the work place that's making it much worse.

I want to be out of here, before the start of 2009. That's such a short time to prepare. But... I can do it.

No more bosses, no more papers dirty looks!!! Goodbye office.. by 2009

I have been in this Department that I work with for only more than two years now. I prayed and prayed so hard that I be given a chance to prove myself in this organization. Despite being young in an arena of much older people, I know i have done my part. I have performed my duties well, I know I have.

God has been good to me all these years. When I look back, I cannot recall any prayer left unanswered. I am amazed by his power and might! He has held my hand and has shown me the way. For if not for Him, where could I be.

Now that I am about to leave this position, I ppray for more guidance. I pray that my father shall bless every decision that me and my husband have to make. I pray that he leads us to where he wants us to be. He will be our guide. He will show us the way. The Lord God never fails and to HIm I entrust all that I have to do, now until the rest of my days.

Thank you Jesus for your shining presence in my life.

Saturday, May 31, 2008 a perfect day

What was expected to be a stormy weekend turned out to be a glorious day! The sun was shining and the weather was perfect for a family gathering. It was my sister's birthday celebration.

Bryan and I started early for Loakan. I was aiming to take a jeep but I decided against it. Pollution was my primary consideration. I wouldn't expose Bryan to polluted air, as much as possible. Baby boy was elated to be out after a week's incarceration at home. He was excited to see plenty of cars passing by.

We tailed a funeral convoy on the way to Loakan. At at turtle pace, Bryan fell asleep in the cab. The slow journey caused my tummy to rumble. We reached our destination after an hour and to my frustration, the host was nowhere in sight when we arrived. But this failed to ruin my day. To disregard utter starvation, my mom and I enaged in idle talk. Exchanging tales of what transpired in our lives during the week. My mom was also happy to see Bryan.

When at last the celebrant arrived, the food was served and all devoured on the simple feast, for all were hungry. After lunch, my other sister, decided, a birthday party wouldn't be complete without ice cream and cake. And so, with the children, my brother drove to town to buy the so called must have. And again, we feast on the dessert.

The day day ended with everyone picking lola's sayote. It was such a gorgeous day! The weather was just perfect and we all had a bagfull of sayote's.

It was a perfect family day indeed!!!

Thank you Lord for my family and for this bounty!

gloomy friday

Last Friday started as an unpleasant day. I had an argument with Tony. A petty one that made me irritable the rest of the day. I left the house without breakfast. I also had to travel for an out-of-town meeting. Which of course, turned out to be as dull as I expected. Fortunately the venue was a little refreshing located along a river. And of course, the food was also delectable, which compensated my boredom....

Interestingly, I saw the reason why I had to be in that meeting. I saw God's hand at work again for he allowed me to come to my colleague's defense. It was an issue of promotion. And the odds are against her. Luckily, I was there. I didn't hold my piece. I had to be heard, and I knew, what I said was noted. After a day of blabbering idiocities, the day came to an end.

Without a word from Tony , I also didn't bother to text him the whole day. Which of course I knew hurt him. But I wanted him to feel that I too was hurt by our early morning argument. I arrived home much later than I promised I would. My son was already sound asleep. Poor little Bryan! He actually got tired of waiting for his mommy to arrived. I didn't get the chance to say good night to him.

As I lay my weary mind to rest, many thoughts came to me. I was confused and was upset for no pleasantries took place as I arrived. Just a cold stare. I contemplated of my life ahead of me. Am I still willing to give my all? What if there is nothing left to give? What if my body gets tired and my bones grow too weary to work? How do I expect to be treated by people I expect to protect me?

I lay sleepless throughout the night as usual, for not even sleep can rest my weary mind.Only Bryan can give me the strength. Only Bryan matters.