God is In Control

These past few months, my husband and I have been struggling to find a helper that will look after our baby.

Since April of this year, our yaya's come and go some lasting for only three weeks at the most.

The worst encounter we had was this week. A helper arrived early monday morning and stayed with my baby through the day. My mother-in-law was there to supervise her.

I arrived later that day and met her, had a little talk with her with my rules around the house. I wasted no time to orient her on the do's and don'ts in my household. She appeared to be perceptive and followed my every instruction. I also observed that she was smiling and paid attention to everything that I was telling her. I made it clear to her to limit the use of her cellphone when she is at work for obvious reasons.She continued to smile and said yes to all my instructions. So far, so good.

She presented herself as an 18 year old girl that had an experience in taking care of a special child that lasted 2 months. I welcomed her to my household just like any other helper.

I observed that she was poorly groomed and emitted a despicable odor. Politely, I gave her an unused bath soap and bottle of an unused shampoo hoping that she would take a hint and take a bath.

But for Christ's sake, she accepted her bath paraphernalia but told me she will do her grooming tomorrow. Ok. No arguments there.

After her day's work I told her she could already retire and take an early rest. I gave her her beddings, etc... the usual stuff and told her to wake up at 5am to cook breakfast and baon for my son who was going to school. All answer I got from her was in the affirmative.

Morning came, alarm greeted me and I rose up because I didnt feel her get up. I thought she might have dozed off heavily and was not aware that it was her wake up call.

I knocked on her room 3 times, no answer. I opened her door but she was not in her room. I noticed the window was widely opened. I checked her belongings, they were nowhere to be found either.

I was shocked, could she have possibly escaped the night before through the window? The answer would be yes.

By this time, i was in  panic. I immediately woke my husband to let him know what happened.

He immediately checked the front door and found that it was unlocked but the perpetrator was not successful in pulling it open. Thank you for the rainy season, door jambs have been tight and would require mighty effort to open doors.

We were in quite a shock.  So many what ifs entered my mind. what if somebody tried to enter the house through the window she had left so widely opened? What if she took some of our valuable belongings like the laptop, cellphones that were just lying everywhere our small abode. What if she let somebody in and harmed us... i could go on.

After some investigation, I found out she took 70 pesos from my son's wallet. Enough for fare.

I thank God that it was all she took.  She was just desperate to leave our house for reasons I will never know.

We wasted no time report the incident to the community police station.

This gave me a fright. I could no longer bring myself to seek for a helper after that.

My mother in law volunteered to look after my baby girl. And I immediately knew,
God is in control. He let all of this happen for me to know that the solution to my problem has been there all along. I was just refusing to accept it.

My mother in law said that we dont have to look for a helper.
That was where it all sunk in. God has allowed my mother in law to be with us to let us know that he has taken care of my worries.

I know that she is growing old but for her willingness to help us, I will forever be grateful.

God is truly in control.

gorgeous weekend!!!

I'm just thankful that Tony and I were able to get through the week without a helper. My mother in law, after arriving for Trina's birthday decided to stay with us for a while. She happily extended help as she knew, helpers do come and go. And it is becoming harder and harder for us to find a decent helper.

 Unfortunately however, she was taken ill just a few days after she arrived.

She was diagnosed with pneumonia and on  her follow up, her x-ray showed minimal pulmonary tuberculosis.

This weakened her and spends more time in bed than ever before. So now, we have to have a helper to not only watch our baby, but also to keep company over our aging beloved mother.

I think that it is a blessing that she came and stayed because if not, I doubt that she would be provided the best medical care possible. Her 80 year old frame is now taking its toll and i believe she is with us for a reason.

My only prayer is that her PTB is inactive so she won't infect trina, whom she is always in close contact with.

She is old but still volunteers to look after my 12 month old who is at a stage where she explores and moves around and literally turns the house upside down. This quite amazes me. Had it not been for ailment, she could still cope with the demands of the baby.

This Saturday, i decided to take the kids for a visit to my moms place. We tagged Lola C along because it turned out to be a sunny but windy day a perfect day for a stroll.

Day was spent  mostly catching up with my mom and sis in law. Was happy to see them and get to spend time with them.

Mom in law appreciated being tagged along because she felt she belonged. Something that was void in her life for quite a while.

I'm happy to be making her feel that she belongs.

LOvely day! Perfect family. What more can I ask for?

has it really been a year?

Saturday, we celebrated my darling Trina's 1st birthday.

It was a simple party but with the essentials covered. I debated whether to push through with the celebration because of the weather.

Fortunately on that day, we had a decent weather. One that we didn't have for weeks before the occasion. I was ecstatic to wake up and saw that there was no pouring rain and the sun was about to shine! I was a beautiful day.

One that fits the birthday celebration of my beautiful daughter.

Family was complete as my mom-in-law was able to come all the way from Angeles to grace the occasion. So did my step son Myron. Philip and Family were there too.

 Bryan had to go to school so Tony had to fetch him from school. He was happy to come to the party and have time with his cousins and friends.
 
I had nothing more to ask except for my Darling one year old to be on top of her health, and grow up the normal life every parent would dream of their children.

Time flew so fast, i wonder where that 12 months went. I feels like it was only yesterday when I cuddled Trina in my arms and cradled her to sleep.

I am amazed at how this whirlwind of a time passes by like a flash of lightning.

It still feels like only yesterday that I had my first born and now he's 5 and a great big brother to his baby sister.

Life is a blast!!

Have a blessed year ahead my naneng!!!!

goodbye legarda office

i feel nostalgic having to say goodbye to the small office tony and i have stated back in 2005.

We have finally decided to close it down.

It was the start of a dream we had back then.

8 years it was and that small office has seen better days.....

Thanks for that cozy nook we spent on for a couple of years.

Now, its time to say goodbye

We are finally closing it down. After 2 years of keeping it alive.

But with high hopes that we could someday go back and operate it again...

some painful experience

It could be one of the most painful experience when someone, especially someone close to you tries to put you down. Yes, its sad that the people you expect to be there to help you in times of need are the ones who will try to put you down in times you need them the most. I have realized that not all people would really be ready to give you a hand when you are in need no matter who they are or no matter who you are to them. Looking back, I have always been a person who would go the extra mile to lend a helping hand to those whom I know would need any form of help. While I was in college, I have often helped my eldest sister babysit her child. I had to put off teenage gallivanting and strolls at session road because I needed to be home early so my sister could do her laundry while I baby sit her child. When I started earning on my own, I have always thought of my siblings. I wanted to always help them in any way I can. When my eldest sister's second child was confined in the hospital, I remember being there for here to help her either financially or emotionally. Same when she gave birth to her 3 child justin. I have always wanted to hurry home from my faraway work place to be able to take care of the baby. When I was assigned in TESDA Regional office, I volunteered to bring my niece to her school before I go to work. Which would mean that I had to go to town and forth to Loakan just so I could help my sister. In my early days at TESDA, i was earning a good sum because I was single. And it was specifically the same time my twin was taking her board exam. I would send her some of my own money for her allowance while she reviewed in Manila to help ease the financial difficulties of being away. The emotional difficulty, I know is out of my control. But to me somehow, if I could help, I would, even if they don't ask for it. I give, I help. Not needing and expecting in return. I never wait for thank yous. Just seeing them shed off a little bit of that burden, is reward enough for me. I saw my employment with DSWD to be of more help to people not only close to me but those who present themselves as needing of assistance. In the days when my father was for surgery for prostate excision, I opted to take a leave to be available to my family. I wanted to be there when they need me. My son, who was also being prepared for his own surgery was left with my yaya. I knew that at this time, I had to sacrifice a little bit of my time to be with my mother to take care of my father. I took it upon myself to seek medical assistance with DSWD at that time because I knew my mother would have difficulty regarding the finances on my father's operation. Not a single time would I have asked them to thank me. Back in 2005, my twin sister had to leave the country for a business trip. She was suffering anxieties as she had to leave her newborn to the care of her yaya whom she could not really trust. I volunteered to be the baby sitter of her baby and supervise her 2 yaya's while she was away. In 2007, my brother's wife gave birth to their second child. My brother could not go out to buy food for himself because his wife was too weak after the major CS operation. I only second guessed that he would be too hungry after hours of waiting on his patient. My husband and I brought him food even when he didn't ask for it. In December of 2007 also, my brother suffered a major injury in the plant where he was working. His fingers were caught in a machine that almost severed his finger. He had to be rushed to the hospital for emergency medical intervention.I knew I had to be there for him and his family so I sought the help of DSWD for financial assistance. My sister - in - law got the assistance after that to somehow ease the financial burden. My mother -in-law's eyes started to deteriorate and so I again had to bring her to an ophthalmologist. My husband's grandchild angel also suffered eye problems so I brought her to the doctor for eye correction. She too needed to wear correctional eyeglasses. I had to buy them their eyeglasses. Who else would they expect to do that? My sister-in-law's father also suffered health problems and so my sister-in-law came to me to seek financial assistance with DSWD. I assisted her so she can be interviewed and I informed her that she might need to come back a few days to get the assistance she needed. I told her to bring the requirements necessary. I have done this with our neighbors in where I grew up in the community where I live now. I never asked them to thank me for the help I had done. Even when I had to make personal follow-ups of their claims so that they would get the cash needed at the time they need it most. I never made them feel inadequate for not asking how this thing or that thing works or how they could avail of the assistance. I never had to elaborate what I had to do for them just so they would thank me. Never! Never!I just served them and helped them the best way I can without expecting even a small thank you in return. My list could go on and on. Why am i saying all of these? Its not to lift my own bench as some would think. It's also not to brag about how I helped people because I never ever do that. I mean these little things that I have done happened so long ago already. I never wanted to bring this up so to just put a show. I just wanted to share this because I know in one way or another, one might learn from it. That to help, you should not even tell people that you are helping. Much more, never expect anything in return. I had my share of this when someone tried to put me down when I was asking for a little helping hand, I was devastated. I was seeking advise regarding my business and that person, whom I have helped in so many ways had to make me feel inadequate. Just because I was asking somethings a little bit too late doesn't give her the authority to malign me. I also never expected that I had to thank her for something that she did but did not even materialize or come close to closing a deal with my client. I am really offended. I know I do not deserve to be treated that way and I know I haven't done anything to deserve to get the kind of treatment accorded to me. But well, people are just people.Who knows when they will need our help again. I hope they don't get the same treatment.

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

May all your dreams come true!!!

I can do all things by the grace of God who strengthens me.

There have been too many challenges I have been facing lately. From the start of this year, until today, as the year gears towards its end. I seem not to run out of these challenges.

At work, the year was greeted with so much controversies of the year that was. A case brew with my office mates that ended up with formal investigations and show cause orders. 11 months and several affidavits thereafter,the result of the case is still unclear.

At the time that these things were happening, a suit was filed for damages against me and 7 others. Case is at the court of appeals pending decision after an MOR was filed against its outright dismissal.

This year I also got pregnant and my health was tested to its limits.

Hypertension challenged this pregnancy aside from myoma and recurring UTI.

I am blessed to have delivered a healthy baby. Blood pressure has normalized and myoma uteri have also shrinked. Today, I am back to work with a 3 month old baby to whom i leave to the care of a baby sitter

Leaving the care to another person, especially if not a relative is a challenge if it doesn't push one's patience to the limits. This is why I keep praying for God's grace to give me more patience as it is fastly wearing thin.

I just try to be grateful that someone is looking after my child.

I also also find balancing my career and household management a challenge. Those who are in my shoes would agree with me on this. Its either you organize your house and everything in it in the morning or be late for work.

My children's health were also challenged just recently for respiratory infections. It was a nightmare. But I am thankful that this is behind us.

My son also has been tardy for his class. I am worried that the school would send a memo for us because of his increasing number of tardiness in school. His punctuality has been sacrificed since I went back to work. I am also not sure if he is fed well before he leaves the house. There are numerous reasons to be late but there are also numerous ways to avoid being late. My heart breaks because of this. There should be no excuse for him to be late for work . It could not be his fault that he is late. It is the fault of the one bringing him to school. I also worry of the effect that this have on him if he is habitually tardy. He might later learn that it is just ok to be late and not value the time of others. I wish he would be more punctual. I wish there aren't excuses for him not to be so.

If only I could divide myself in two. If only half of my body could come to work and half of it be at home to care for the needs of my baby and my pre schooler.

There are things that need to be improved and I wish that I have more time for my son. To be there for him and prepare him for school, cook his baon and all.

But there is just so much that I can do. I wish I could do more.

With God's grace, I can do more.

I pray for God's continious grace as he sees me through all these challenges. I entrust to him everything that I have. Just as how he has carried me through the delivery of trina, i trust that he will carry me through all these. For He is my strength.