It's more than a year since my last post here.
So much has happened and so much has changed yet so much remain quite the same.
I'm still working in this office,
I still want to practice free lance,
15 months from my previous post, I am now a mother of two! Yes, my bouncing baby girl came to this world via CS on August 10, 2011.
And life is never sweeter. Despite the complications both both pregnancy and delivery, Life is beautiful.
Sure, Im again into my second bout of sleepless nights, I am again late for work because I just can't leave the house. I want hold my baby in arms so much.Middle of the night feedings, early morning waking with only an hour of sleep. It was five years ago when I went through this cycle with my first child. I am amazed now as i look at him how fast time flew. I could still vividly remember how I cuddled him and rocked him to sleep each night until he turned one. Now, he is five and i wonder where time went, he is now in school.
Bryan, my baby turned five yesterday.
Now, with my second baby, I am again trying to survive motherhood and my day job. But today, things are far more different in the workplace. I am more understood by the big boss, I am not compelled to travel and leave my newborn. I am more relaxed in the office but my mind is still with my baby. I am barely 2 weeks out of my maternity leave and anxiety is so much that I just want to run home and hold my baby.
So much have changed yet things are just the same!!!
Welcome to my life, darling Trina! Mommy can't get you out of her mind! I love yo dearly.
Oct 28, 2011
Jun 7, 2010
... its how you recover when things fail that counts..
I posted this in Facebook just today.
It is a gist of two life changing events that were supposed to happen but did not.
Two things failed.
First is my application to be an instructor in my Alma Mater did not materialize. I was assured by the Dept Head but suddenly things started to turn against me.
I tendered my resignation with high hopes of a better future not just for me but for my son, and maybe kids to come...
Which leads to the second yet more painful downfall.My failure to conceive. We have been on this fertility work up, though we were on our first cycle, I have kept my hopes high, because we have prayed and prayed so hard for another bundle of joy yet this seem to be something out of our reach.
I could not yet fathom God's plan but all I can do now is keep still and let God be in control.
It has been a struggle for me to come to work everyday. Not because I didn't want to come to work but because of domestic reasons. It's one of the many reasons that I just want to be home with my son. But none of it is going the way I planned.
I guess my plans are not in consonance with God's plan. And maybe even if it is, it is not the proper time. I succumb to God's greatness and power over all that is around me.
You O Lord know everything and will always be in control of my life. To you I give back all the honor and glory.
It is a gist of two life changing events that were supposed to happen but did not.
Two things failed.
First is my application to be an instructor in my Alma Mater did not materialize. I was assured by the Dept Head but suddenly things started to turn against me.
I tendered my resignation with high hopes of a better future not just for me but for my son, and maybe kids to come...
Which leads to the second yet more painful downfall.My failure to conceive. We have been on this fertility work up, though we were on our first cycle, I have kept my hopes high, because we have prayed and prayed so hard for another bundle of joy yet this seem to be something out of our reach.
I could not yet fathom God's plan but all I can do now is keep still and let God be in control.
It has been a struggle for me to come to work everyday. Not because I didn't want to come to work but because of domestic reasons. It's one of the many reasons that I just want to be home with my son. But none of it is going the way I planned.
I guess my plans are not in consonance with God's plan. And maybe even if it is, it is not the proper time. I succumb to God's greatness and power over all that is around me.
You O Lord know everything and will always be in control of my life. To you I give back all the honor and glory.
May 14, 2010
May 12, 2010
just today, i learned this: The weak cannot forgive, forgiveness is the attribute of the strong-Mahatma Gandhi
I know I have been keeping grudges in my heart. And for a long time, I have not been truly fair to all around me. I have been hard on others. Thinking that if they can hurt me, I can hurt them more. And this grudge became hatred. Hatred for a person I know I can't erase from my life. A person, which, because of my impetuous decisions, I can not pretend to not exist. And by this, things have become rough.
I developed hypertension due to stressors not only found in my workplace but also at home as well.
Everything is smooth now because the boy is away. And if he comes back for this school year, I want to have a change. I know that it is a difficult step but I also learned the distance doesn't matter, the most difficult thing to do is to take the first step!
So now I want to make the first step. And I hope all things will follow.
I know I have been keeping grudges in my heart. And for a long time, I have not been truly fair to all around me. I have been hard on others. Thinking that if they can hurt me, I can hurt them more. And this grudge became hatred. Hatred for a person I know I can't erase from my life. A person, which, because of my impetuous decisions, I can not pretend to not exist. And by this, things have become rough.
I developed hypertension due to stressors not only found in my workplace but also at home as well.
Everything is smooth now because the boy is away. And if he comes back for this school year, I want to have a change. I know that it is a difficult step but I also learned the distance doesn't matter, the most difficult thing to do is to take the first step!
So now I want to make the first step. And I hope all things will follow.
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